So lonely inside, so busy out there

Now on to a little more “serious” post than the last few.

Work is… well, it’s not the best. Not that it’s bad, either things just aren’t good around here. After the layoffs and store closings, they never did anything to definitively tell people “hey, we’re in it to stay, we’re focused on staying open” or other things of that nature. There was just a lot of spin talk, but nothing that gave any confidence in our future. As a result, people have been jumping ship like crazy. Some departments have actually brought back people that were laid off because the people left behind all quit to go work elsewhere.

They kept finding reasons and ways to extend my boss’ 30 days out into more like 60+ days. His boss wanted to keep him around until he was able to find something new, so it wouldn’t be so hard on him and his family. I have to say that was pretty nice. He finally did find a new job though, and so his last day is May 2. I am truly going to miss him, he was probably one of the better bosses I’ve ever had; by far the nicest.

In the larger scope of my department, we are losing 3 more people this week to new jobs. I’m talking about managers, senior directors, etc. Higher level folks, with no one to come in and take over their positions. I wouldn’t be surprised if we lose even more, as almost everyone around here is looking for a new job. Even my only remaining coworker is looking.

As for me? It may be stupid, foolish, or whatever, but I haven’t started looking yet. Partly because I’m comfortable. I don’t want the hassle and stress of looking. I might have a little stress now whereas before I had none, but it’s still a decent job. Plus, if I’m staying, I have a modicum of job security (as long as we stay in business) since everyone else is leaving. Someone will have to do the work, after all. 😉

I also haven’t started looking for a new job … because I don’t have a clue as to what on earth I would want to do. I don’t know if I’d want to do the same thing again somewhere else. I can’t do data entry anymore – my typing speed just isn’t what it used to be, and with my tendency towards tendonitis (and the possibility of it developing into carpal tunnel), I know that I will never be able to type as fast as I used to again. The check room stuff is nice, it’s fun getting to cut checks. But at the same time, I don’t know if I’d want to do it full time somewhere. There are plenty of things I’m “good” at, that I just don’t really enjoy doing. And the stuff that I do enjoy, I’m not good at. Figures, eh? I’ve rarely done the same thing twice in any of the many jobs I’ve had. This is the longest I’ve ever worked at any company by a long shot. (It will be 8 years in Sept, but officially 8 in Oct because I started as a temp.) I’m tired of being here, but like I said, it’s comfortable. I know what I can and can’t get away with. Hah.

Due to the layoffs and ever shrinking staff, we no longer need the entire building we are occupying. (Basement, 10 “regular” floors, plus the 11th floor exec level which is only accessible by the freight elevator or a staircase in the 10th floor reception area. PLUS a small 1 story bank building detached from the main building.) As a result, “sometime in the future” we are consolidating down to the first 5 floors of the building. The folks in the bank building are apparently going to share the basement with the mail guys. Rumor has it, my area will be going down to the 1st floor. That will be nice, I won’t have to wait on the elevators any longer. Being on the 10th floor is absolutely AWFUL when trying to take the elevators, since we’re the top floor they service, and there are all those stops in between. Ugh. But, I’ll lose my nice window view when we move, and that makes me kind of sad. The room that is (again, rumored) to become my office is currently an interior file room, no windows; but it is a bit bigger than my current office. (Possibly slightly narrower, but definitely longer.) I can live without the windows after all I have to have the blinds here closed 99% of the time thanks to the glare on the computer screen. One thing I’m worried about, though, is that because the room is bigger, they might set it up so I have to share the office with the ECWFH. I REALLY hope not. I absolutely love having a space that is 100% mine. Back several years ago, the cash office (my office) used to be in that same file room down on the first floor, and they did have it configured for 2 people. So I know they can fit 2 in there. I just don’t want it that way. Haha. Too bad I don’t have a say in it.

As I said at the beginning, though, even the ECWFH is looking for a new job. So my fears of sharing with her might be unfounded, because she might quit. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she did come summer time, regardless of if she has found a new job or not. She doesn’t need to work, she just does it to get out of the house. I have a hunch she is planning a trip this summer, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she just quit so that she could take it and spend time with her kids on summer vacation before getting a new job. If and when that does happen? That is when I will lose what is left of my sanity. While she may drive me absolutely crazy, and I might already be doing the majority of the work … if she’s gone, then I really will be doing ALL of the work, with no one to back me up when I want to go on vacation or I need to stay home sick. I don’t like that prospect, at all.

And in other news, my Nana was hospitalized over the weekend. Her pulse had dropped down to 30 bpm. They did surgery to implant a pace maker, and she went home on Monday and is recovering well. She could have gone home sooner, but they didn’t want to her to have to go home via ambulance, so she stayed an extra night at the hospital. When we were out for dinner with my Grandma the other week, we learned that Aunt Cookie still hasn’t started her physical therapy from her strokes last October. She has slight paralysis, but she would be able to see improvement if she started her therapy. It just seems like she doesn’t care or want to. When my grandma had her strokes @ 8 years ago, they didn’t even expect her to live, much less walk, talk, etc. But she’s a determined woman, and she gets around just fine now, with the aid of just a cane. If Cookie tried, I’m sure she could be doing a lot better than she is, too.

My leg/knee is still in the process of healing. The majority of the swelling and bruising is finally gone, but I do still have a small knot in one part of the leg as well as very faint spots of bruising. I’m getting there though, slowly but surely.

I’ve got another doctor’s appointment on Saturday. Follow-up testing from all the crap I went through before, just to make sure everything’s still okay. I won’t say more than that for two reasons: A) I don’t want to have to password protect this whole post just because of one little mention and B) there just isn’t anything TO say right now.

And, to end this on a purely trivial note… it’s been just over one year since I chopped off all my hair. I still like it, too. It’s a little longer right now since I’m in need for another trim, but I like being able to put it up in a short ponytail, so I’m in no hurry to get it cut. Haha. But if it gets much longer, it’ll be time for another chop. Even a year later, though, sometimes I forget that it’s short now.

7 thoughts on “So lonely inside, so busy out there”

  1. Job hunting is a pain in the a$$. That’s for sure. Especially since it’s hard to know what we’re good for.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if she quit. I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t already. They’d have to get someone to replace her, whether they want to or not. Because there’s no way that you can do EvERYTHING, even though I know you try.

    I hope your Nana is getting better. We’ve learned through our family that if they don’t wanna do it… it’s impossible to get them to try. It’s rather sad but it happens, unfortunately.

    It’s good that your leg is starting to feel better. And you shall have to keep me up to date on that doc appointment, and the one for tomorrow. *nods*

    I need to chop my hair off again. But I haven’t decided how much yet.

  2. It is. I hate it. And I’m not good for anything. 😉 ha.

    I am pretty surprised, too. She probably will though, esp with me being hurt now. ha. I do try, yes. And look what happens – I get tendonitis. Sighs.

    Nana is doing better. My uncle wants to put in a chair lift to get her upstairs, but she refuses. She’s almost as stubborn as my grandma. haha. And yeah, Cookie … I don’t know what we’re gonna do with her. It looks like most of the family is leaving SanAn, leaving her there alone since she’s alienating everyone. That’s not going to help any. 🙁

    The visible bruising and deep tissue bruising is getting better. But the knee is being bitchy. Sighs. No word yet on the ultrasound from Sat. Figure they’ll call sometime this week. I liked the doc today. Just didn’t like the wait. ha.

    I was about to ask “how much” before re-reading the second sentence. ha. :$

  3. That was my problem when I was job-hunting. I’m not really GOOD at anything.

    She doesn’t seem like the type to stick around when the going gets rough. And yeah, she prolly will. So they’ll have to get someone else to help. Aww *pets* No more working so hard.

    That’s good to hear. Hahah the stubborn ones are the good ones though. Well, unfortunately if she’s alienating everyone, then there’s really not much anyone can do about it.

    Aww poor knee.


  4. The things I like I’m not good at. The stuff I’m good at, I don’t like. Or now, can’t do because of physical limitations. Sighs.

    I’m honestly still surprised she didn’t leave years ago. They’ve said they are gonna try to get a 3rd person again, anyway, so that will be good. And prolly the only time you’ll hear me say I’m glad that Kim whined about not being able to do the work when it’s a lot less than she makes it out to be. Because a 3rd body would help ME a lot. hah.

    *nods* They are, yes. Heee. I know. She’s just… incredibly stubborn. Or something.

    I hope it gets better. Soon.

    :-$ Hahahaha.

  5. Yeah, that’s usually how it goes though.

    So am I, from what you’ve told me of her. Are they? That’d be good. It’d make sense too.

    Unfortunately it’s a bad stubborn?

    Well, I wish you good luck on that one.

  6. It sucks. A lot. Hah.

    Well, I do know she’s looking, so yeah. They are. Or, my boss & her boss want to. but apparently the even bigger boss has vetoed this. Sigh

    Yeah. Sigh.

    :-* Thank you.

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