This entry is coming out in slow stops and starts. But I’m determined to post it, eventually.
(Written: 10 April, 2013 – 12 June, 2013)
I love when Emily gets to come and visit, but I always hate it when she has to leave. Multiply that by a thousand-fold when I seriously doubt I’m going to be able to travel up to Canada this year (or heck, anywhere, really) and that makes me miserable. It doesn’t help my mood any that we’re just a couple of weeks away from when I normally would be heading up to visit her, AND that The Headstones have a show scheduled in Toronto on the first night of my summer break – aka the first night I would be in Toronto, if I could afford it. I’ve priced flights multiple times, hoping against hope for some sudden magical super low fare sale, but that hasn’t happened yet. I’ve also gone over my finances repeatedly, trying to find a way I could make it work. I went over my budget yet again after the concert announcement, but nope. Still no luck, no extra money is hiding anywhere.
What really bugs me most, is that this will be the first time in at least 17 years that I haven’t traveled somewhere (I want to say 21 years, but I can’t for the life of me remember if I went anywhere in 1995 or not). Yeah yeah yeah, sure, I went to Oklahoma with Emily when she was here in March, but that doesn’t count as ‘travel’ to me. For me, traveling has to be more than 3 hours (180 miles) in distance. Why? Well, growing up, my grandma lived in Shreveport, Louisiana. That’s a mere 3 hour drive, and we’d go out to visit her usually once a year or so. That was never “travel” to me; I mean, it’s about an hour drive for me to get across the D/FW Metroplex and that feels like a trip down the block. Three hours is just a jaunt across town. So I don’t count most of southern Oklahoma/Arkansas or northern Louisiana when I think of “travel”. 😉
Some people might take for granted getting to spend time with their best friend; but then those people probably don’t live almost 1,430 miles apart like we do; and have lived that far apart the entire friendship. I absolutely cherish the fact that I’ve been lucky enough to spend as much time with her and her family as I have. We’ve celebrated birthdays together, taken dual-family vacation to Niagara Falls; I’ve spent Christmas with her and her family, and celebrated Canada Day with her, watching fireworks over the Vancouver Harbour with her. No, there’s not really a point to any of this – other than the fact that I’m nostalgic over past vacations since I don’t get to travel anywhere this year, and I loved every trip we’ve had.
(Written: 25 July, 2013)
I was already grumpy while on Mass Break at the beginning of the month, because I wasn’t able to afford to travel; and then I came down with a nasty sinus infection. I spent almost all of 2+ weeks in bed, yet getting very little sleep since the coughing and congestion would continuously wake me. Granted, I was glad I wasn’t traveling while being that sick, but at the same time it just rubbed salt in the wound: I couldn’t travel, AND I couldn’t enjoy the time off in some other way. To top it all off, on the very last day of Mass Break, I ended up taking a spill that led to some pretty spectacular bruising. Thankfully most of the bruising was hidden, so I didn’t go back to work looking like I’d been beaten senseless. (I’ve been having more intense bruises than normal lately, but I think that ties into some medical stuff I haven’t yet rambled about in here. I’m not that worried about it, but I still need to remember to call the doc and double-check my thoughts. heh.) Mostly, though, I’m still just despondent over the lack of ability to travel. Being able to get away, the feeling of freedom and escape (even if brief), the chance to relax and unwind and forget about everything else, the lure of the open road, beckoning me to drive… there’s an intoxication in that, that just can’t be replicated by anything else. And I miss it. Desperately.
I know this entry is all over the place, so I’m going to stop it here so I can figure out a title lyric, get it posted, and start work on something new. Something, hopefully, a little more cohesive.