An invisible man sleepin’ in your bed

Tuesday evening, I had a new ceiling fan installed in my room. Finally, considering the old one gave out several years ago. Afterwards, I was taking some pictures of my room for a friend. The first shot I took, something felt … off. So I took another one, figuring that the first was just blurry. Well, it was blurry, but that wasn’t all. There was also a floating orb in the first shot. I’ve gone crazy, trying to figure out what on earth was between me and the wall that possibly could’ve reflected flash back at me … and there isn’t anything at all. It’s more than a little creepy. Heh.

Before the spooky picture-taking, though, I had to run out to the store to buy new lightbulbs and a new electrical box, as the one the wall switch for the new fan is supposed to mount in is too small. I was on my way home, at the last major intersection between me and my house, waiting for the left turn light to turn green. An 18 wheeler came out of the gas station to my right and pulled across so he was right next to me and blocking all 3 lanes. The driver straightened up as the main light went green, so he was still next to me, but still should have gone straight. My lane got the turn signal and the 18 wheeler went and turned left from the lane next to me; and almost right over me. Almost crushed me under his wheels. Luckily I was able to react fast enough because I’ve been in too many accidents and I know when someone’s trying to kill me so I held back and didn’t get flattened. The driver of that fucking 18 wheeler didn’t care at all that he was making an illegal turn, or that he almost hit cars who were making the turn, legally. It was only my reaction that stopped me from getting hit. The last thing I need is to get hit again this year. Twice in one week was more than enough for me, thankyouverymuch.

Wednesday was time for me to head back to my orthopedist for a consultation on my knees. We opted for another cortisone injection in the right knee, as well as my first injection in the left knee. I’m only allowed 1 more shot in the right knee for the next year, or else the steroids could have an adverse affect and do more harm than good to my knees. The injection into the right knee went well. It hurt, but that pain didn’t last too terribly long. The left knee, however, that didn’t go so bad. I don’t know what happened, but the shot hurt considerably worse going in, and has caused some pretty nasty bruising around the injection site. The steroid itself has helped – there’s no knee pain from the osteoarthritis – however the bruising is still very painful, and it also limits my range of motion! It feels like I traded off one type of pain for another. At least I know the bruise will fade soon enough, and hopefully the pain will dissipate with it, and I’ll actually be able to walk like a normal human being for once.

My bestest friend in the entire world is coming to visit me in just 11 days. I cannot wait for her to get here. My credit card got a bit of a workout today, as I was ordering things I’ll need for our vacation. New shoes, toys to play with, etc – now all that’s left (I think) is to order a new swimsuit, and I’ll be all set. Mostly. I think. I hope. We’ll see. If I’m not, I’m not. But I really hope I am.

I’ve found you find strength in your moments of weakness

My horoscope from last Sunday made me smile – Leo: Moving on is tough if you don’t feel like you’re making any progress — but you are. That is really truer than it sounds. For what seemed like an eternity I’d been struggling to move on from past hurts and betrayals, but I felt like I was mired in place, getting no where at all. Then last year I made major progress, all thanks to a concert I attended when visiting a friend. It’s amusing the places and things that can help you face and overcome your demons. Lately though, I’ve felt like I’ve been stagnant again, not able to move forwards. So that horoscope was perfect in its timing, arriving on a day when I felt hopeless, felt like I wasn’t healing anymore, possibly even felt like I was backsliding. It gave me a much-needed kick in the pants at exactly the right time.

I have very bad knees1 (osteoarthritis, osteophytes2, and chondromalacia patella) and my orthopedist has restricted some of my activities; one of those restrictions is to avoid stairs unless absolutely necessary. At my last appointment when I had a cortisone injection, I mentioned to him that I work on the 10th floor of my building and that we were getting close to “fire drill season”. Since a fire drill means taking the staircase all the way down to the bottom, and I’m not supposed to take stairs, I asked him if there was anything that could be done for me. He wrote me a note that allows me to take the freight elevator with anyone else unable to take the stairs. After that appointment I contacted one of the fire marshalls for my floor, to find out exactly what to do, and to alert them to the fact that I was now to follow these alternate evacuation procedures.

That note finally came in handy this week. Monday afternoon, the fire alarms went off. Someone actually had to tell me3 they were going off, oops? Let me tell you – it was incredibly nice being able to ride the freight elevator down. The last time we had a drill my knees weren’t half as bad as they are now, yet I could barely walk after going down all those stairs. I knew if I had to do it now, I would have issues before making it all the way down, and likely wouldn’t be able to move at all the next day.

Like I said above, if I had been required to take the stairs on Monday – I most likely wouldn’t have been able to walk on Tuesday. But, on the off-chance I had made it into work – Tuesday would have killed me. Tuesday afternoon the fire alarms went off, again. As I was waiting at the freight elevator for the fire marshalls, most of the people who were headed down the stairwell next to me showed their jealousy – calling me a cheater, saying it wasn’t fair, etc. It amused me some, with all the looks & remarks I was getting. But, when the elevator opened and I got on, it was already almost full with very able-bodied people from the top floor who were just flat-out being lazy. On the way down, we stopped on a floor with someone in a wheelchair, and 2 on crutches were waiting, yet none of the execs in the elevator made a move to get off to let the people who truly needed it have their spaces. That kinda saddened/sickened me some. Hell, I feel slightly guilty about taking the freight elevator down, yet I actually need it!


  1. My knees are bad enough that I could request a disabled parking sticker, but my conscience won’t let me do it. I may be barely able to walk on my worst days, but I would feel guilty taking a handicapped spot from someone who needs it even more than me.
  2. Osteophytes are more commonly known as ‘bone spurs’.
  3. I could hear a faint siren, but I usually hear them coming from police/ambulance vehicles outside on the Tollway so I just tuned it out and assumed it was out there again.